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Sexual Addiction: A Brief Description

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

If you recognize yourself in the descriptions of sexual addiction, know that it is possible to recover and reclaim control of your life. You don't have to begin recovery alone. There is help and support. Sexual addiction manifests as an ongoing and potentially escalating pattern of compulsive sexual behavior despite the awareness of its detrimental impact on one's life.  Professionals in the addiction field regard sexual addiction as a "Process Addiction," noting numerous similarities and parallels with substance use disorder.

A variety of general features or aspects of sexual addiction are evident in the terms and phrases listed below used by a variety of professionals to label it:


Hypersexuality:
Compulsive Sexual Behavior:
Sexual Compulsion:
Sexual Dependency
Sexual Impulse Control Disorder:
Problematic Sexual Behavior:
Out-of-Control Sexual Behavior:
Sexual Obsession:
Intimacy Disorder:
Sexual Addiction Disorder:

Sexual addiction generally refers to a pattern of out-of-control sexual behaviors that have negative consequences for an individual's life. The terminology labeling sex addiction reveals some of the common features of sexual addiction. Some of the key features include:

Compulsion:  Mood-altering effects of compulsive sexual behavior provide neurological rewards that drive the compulsion. The mood-altering properties contribute to the reinforcement and maintenance of the behavior. Addictions, including sexual addiction, are characterized by compulsions to seek a substance or behavior that provides neurological rewards.

Compulsion, where individuals feel driven to engage in certain activities despite adverse consequences, contributes to the addictive nature of compulsive sexual behaviors and the difficulty individuals face in controlling these behaviors.

Pattern of Out-of-Control Behaviors: Sexual addiction typically involves a pattern of behaviors that are perceived as out of control or compulsive, leading to negative consequences in various areas of an individual's life
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Excessive Sexual Appetite: Individuals with sexual addiction may exhibit an excessive sexual appetite, engaging in sexual behaviors beyond what is considered healthy. Sexual activity becomes someone's most important "need."
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Clinical Descriptions: The concept of sexual addiction often involves clinical descriptions of behaviors that are perceived as addictive or compulsive, impacting the individual's well-being and functioning. Sexual addiction is associated with relationship problems, emotional distress, and impairment in daily functioning.


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What Causes Sexual Addiction?

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By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

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Several potential influences that are believed to contribute to the development of sexual addiction are listed here: 

Neurobiological Factors: Research has suggested that neurobiological factors, such as alterations in brain function and reward processing, may contribute to the development of addictive behaviors, including compulsive sexual behaviors.
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Psychological Factors: Psychological factors, such as underlying mental health conditions, trauma history, attachment issues, and personality traits, have been implicated in the development of compulsive sexual behaviors.
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Environmental Factors: Environmental influences, including early exposure to sexual content, dysfunctional family dynamics, social norms around sexuality, and cultural factors, may also play a role in shaping individuals' attitudes and behaviors related to sex and intimacy.
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Interpersonal Factors: Relationship dynamics, interpersonal conflicts, intimacy issues, fragility and difficulties in forming and maintaining healthy relationships can contribute to the development of compulsive sexual behaviors.  Sex addiction is often referred to as an "intimacy disorder."
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Coping Mechanisms: Some individuals may use compulsive sexual behaviors in place of coping skills to manage stress, emotional pain, loneliness, or other negative emotions, using sex as a means of self-soothing or escape.

Professionals examine the complex interplay of biological, psychological, social, and environmental factors contributing to vulnerability to a compulsive cycle of acting out. When an individual pursues recovery from sexual addiction, it becomes crucial to comprehend these factors for accurate assessment and treatment. However, similar to other addictions involving mood-altering substances or behaviors, halting the momentum of addiction is a prerequisite for initiating the recovery process.

Some of the personality characteristics associated with vulnerability to develop sexual addiction include impulsivity, sensation seeking, neuroticism (characterized by emotional instability, anxiety, and negative affect), attachment styles (e.g., insecure attachment or difficulties in forming secure emotional bonds with others, low self-esteem, and avoidance coping (using addictive behavior or substances in place of coping strategies.)

These personality factors interact with other biological, psychological, and environmental influences to shape an individual's vulnerability to developing sexual addiction or compulsive sexual behaviors.

Like alcoholism and other drug addictions, sexual addiction provides only temporary relief from emotional/psychological distress and ultimately sabotages emotional satisfaction.  Acting out often leads to shame and guilt, followed by a desire and maybe a self-promise to stop the behavior. However, the compulsive cycle persists. Like other addictions, a loss of control over the behavior develops.


Sexual addiction doesn't only affect the person with sexual addiction but also has profound consequences on the lives of family members and friends. There are natural (and sometimes legal) consequences of this addiction.

 

"Loss" is a common consequence of sexual addiction. It can result in losses across multiple life domains, including close relationships, legal consequences such as imprisonment, financial setbacks, diminished self-esteem, a sense of disconnection from one's life, and compromised health. These are often the same losses experienced in alcohol and drug addiction.

Like other addictions, those struggling with sex addiction seek an escape, attempting to alter their feelings and "reality" through sex, which becomes their mind/mood-altering drug of choice. Any mood-altering behavior can become compulsive or addictive. People with sexual addiction often have preferences for acting out, such as masturbation, internet sex, phone sex, encounters with prostitutes, voyeurism, serial infidelity, and more. Sexual addiction tends to be progressive, with behaviors intensifying in frequency, intensity, or inappropriateness. It can evolve from seemingly innocuous behaviors like occasionally watching mildly pornographic cable movies to illegal or dangerous activities, such as window peeping or assault.

As indicated above, sexual addiction is associated with specific personality and psychological characteristics. Some of the common factors that are prevalent among people with sexual addiction include:

Difficulties forming close, intimate attachments,
Fear of intimacy, including authentic self-disclosure,
Fear of rejection.
Fear of not being able to engage in the desired behavior,
Fear of exposure of their covert activities,
Fear of loss,
Shame, feelings of worthlessness, and loneliness
A history of childhood sexual abuse or early exposure to sexual materials.
Dishonesty and compulsive lying for covering up a dual life,
Feeling alienated from self and one's own life.

Living in constant fear is a common thread. There is often a fear of obstacles in the way of acting out, fear of continued engagement, fear of getting caught, and fear of losing valued aspects of life, such as family, job, or reputation. Moreover, sexual addiction frequently co-occurs with alcohol and other drug addictions, which enable, interact, exacerbate, and accelerate the progress of addictions.

Anyone who suspects they may be dealing with a sexual addiction would be well-advised to take proactive steps to seek help. Acknowledging and accepting the possibility of having a sexual addiction is a crucial and empowering first step. This initial self-awareness and willingness lay the foundation for achieving recovery. Asking for help is a sign of strength and an essential step toward regaining control over one's life.


The next step involves seeking professional guidance and support from someone specializing in sexual addiction who can provide a confidential and non-judgmental space for self-exploration. Expert assistance and support can help you manage the complexities of interrupting the momentum of addiction, address underlying issues, and develop coping mechanisms that ultimately replace compulsive sexual behavior. Joining support groups or attending meetings for sexual addiction recovery can offer a sense of community and understanding from others who have faced or are facing similar challenges. Arm yourself with all the helpful information you can find. Online resources, hotlines, and helplines are valuable tools for immediate support and information.

When seeking help, it's helpful to involve trusted friends, family members, or partners. Note that it may be advisable, however, to have professional guidance for the disclosure to important people in your life.  The effort it takes to build a robust support system is worth it.  Not only does a support system aid in the recovery journey but also helps individuals feel less isolated in their struggles. Take action immediately if you think you have a sexual addiction. You can find assistance and recovery before you've lost everything. Those with the best prognosis for sustained recovery often have intact the foundational elements of their lives, including marriages, family, jobs, homes, and friends. Overcoming the defense mechanisms that tell you that you don't need help is one of the most challenging aspects of early recovery.
Note: This article was updated and edited from a 2009 version with the same title, published on WWW.PEGGYFERGUSON.COM.
 

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The Unadulterated Truth About Sexual Addiction

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

There's nothing glamorous about sex addiction. Compulsive sexual behavior isn't just a pastime; it's a painful reality that many individuals struggle with. Despite the media's portrayal of celebrity rehab stints for sex addiction, the truth is far from sensational. Like any addiction, sexual addiction brings immense pain, yet those affected often deny the truth to themselves using various excuses and defense mechanisms.


The stark reality is that once addiction takes hold, the pleasure and relief that the compulsive behavior once provided diminishes. Despite this, individuals persist in their behavior, leading to isolation and unhappiness for themselves and their loved ones.


Compulsive masturbation often lies at the heart of sexual addiction, although the spectrum of behaviors can vary widely. Rationalizations like "Everyone does it" or "It helps me relax" only serve to perpetuate the addiction and distance the individual from their loved ones. In marriages affected by sexual addiction, intimacy wanes, leading to tension and conflict.


Whether it's through prostitution, internet sex, or one-night stands, sexually addicted behavior prevents meaningful relationships from forming and replaces them with empty substitutes. Compulsive sexual behavior affects not only the person with an addiction but also those involved with them, including spouses and children who are unwittingly affected by the addiction's fallout.


Furthermore, sexual addiction can be passed down through generations, perpetuating dysfunctional family dynamics. When married to a person with an addiction, emotional intimacy often evaporates, replaced by secrecy and deceit, further eroding trust and damaging relationships.
Acknowledging the problem is the crucial first step towards recovery. Help is available for both the person with an addiction and their spouses, offering hope for healing and restoration.

Note: This article has been edited from its original version for clarity, accuracy, or other reasons.
 

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Do You Have A Sexual Addiction?

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

Sexual addiction is a serious condition characterized by compulsive sexual behavior that persists despite causing significant problems in one's life. The person with an addiction feels an irresistible urge to engage in sexual activities, which often leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing. Despite attempts to stop, the behavior continues, resulting in escalating consequences such as relationship difficulties, job loss, and financial problems.


The manifestations of sexual addiction vary widely and can include behaviors like masturbation, infidelity, pornography use, and risky sexual encounters. Similar to other types of addiction, sexual compulsions serve as a means of temporarily escaping from emotional pain or stress. Individuals with sexual addiction may spend excessive amounts of time planning or engaging in sexual activities, neglecting other important areas of their lives in the process.


Recognizing the symptoms of sexual addiction is crucial for seeking help and beginning the journey to recovery. Symptoms may include:

  1. Preoccupation with sex overshadows other areas of life.

  2. Spending excessive time planning or fantasizing about sexual activities

  3. Feelings of shame, guilt, or despair related to sexual behavior.

  4. Inability to stop engaging in the behavior despite repeated attempts.

  5. Experiencing negative consequences from sexual behavior but continuing regardless.

  6. Using sexual compulsion as the primary coping mechanism for life's challenges.

  7. Neglecting important social, family, career, or spiritual activities due to sexual behavior.

  8. Engaging in ritualized routines as part of sexual acting out.

  9. Needing increasing amounts or intensity of sexual experiences.

  10. Experiencing financial or relationship problems due to sexual behavior.

  11. Loss of interest in sex with a long-term partner or lack of intimacy.

  12. Spending more time on sexual compulsivity than on intimate relationships.

  13. Keeping secrets about sexual behavior from significant others.

  14. Regretting actions taken during sexual acting out.

  15. Frequenting places associated with sexual behavior, such as sex clubs, massage parlors, strip clubs, video chat sex parties.

  16. Engaging in dangerous sexual behavior that could lead to arrest.

 

Seeking assessment and treatment from a qualified addiction specialist is essential for addressing sexual addiction effectively.

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Treatment may involve therapy, support groups, and medication to address underlying issues and manage symptoms. Recovery from sexual addiction is possible with commitment, support, and professional guidance. If you or someone you know is struggling with sexual addiction, don't hesitate to reach out for assistance.

Note: This article has been edited from its original version for contemporary language use, clarity, accuracy, or other reasons.
 

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Denial Enables Sexual Compulsivity to Persist
In Spite of Negative Consequences
By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

 

Sexual addiction, like other forms of addiction, involves defense mechanisms that enable the problematic behavior to persist despite adverse consequences. Individuals with sexual addiction often attribute their problems to factors other than their sexual behavior, such as co-occurring addictions or external circumstances. This complexity can lead to a focus on solving addiction problems independently without addressing the underlying issues.


For instance, a person with sexual addiction and alcoholism may blame all negative consequences on the alcoholism, ignoring the harmful effects of their sexual behavior. They may seek treatment for alcohol use disorder while neglecting to address their compulsive sexual activities, leading to continued destructive behavior. Even after stopping alcohol consumption, the sexual acting out may persist, manifesting in different forms.


In the early stages of recovery, individuals may attempt to control their behavior by changing their environment, such as using internet filters or avoiding specific triggers. However, these efforts often fail to address the underlying intimacy issues associated with sexual addiction. Some individuals may mistakenly believe that focusing all their sexual energy on a romantic relationship will resolve their compulsive behavior, but this rarely leads to lasting change.


Recognizing the connection between compulsive sexual activity and negative consequences is essential for addressing behavior effectively. It requires a holistic approach that considers both the addictive patterns and the underlying emotional and psychological factors contributing to the addiction. Through therapy, support groups, and self-awareness, individuals can work towards healthier patterns of behavior and genuine intimacy in relationships.

Note: This article has been edited from its original version for contemporary language, clarity, accuracy, or other reasons.

Maintaining Early Recovery From Sexual Addiction
By Preventing Relapse

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

For those endeavoring to regain control over their lives by initiating recovery from sex addiction, one can employ numerous strategies to disrupt the cycle of addiction. The initial steps in early recovery involve halting the acting-out behaviors. Stopping the acting out typically entails recognizing the problematic behaviors that one needs to abstain from. Many individuals in early recovery from sex addiction still lack insight into the extent of their illness, often attributing their "most problematic" behaviors as the sole issue. To break through ego defenses and enhance personal insight, individuals can benefit from soliciting feedback from significant others regarding not only overt sexual behaviors but also relational, emotional, spiritual, and productivity-related behaviors. The feedback received may be eye-opening.

Similarly, many individuals in early recovery mistakenly believe that their loved ones are unaware of their addiction. However, this is often not the case. When considering whom to confide in about one's recovery, it is essential to identify individuals you love and respect who could serve as an effective "accountability partner." An accountability partner is someone you enlist to support you in maintaining honesty, making sound decisions, and adhering to responsibilities consistently and reliably throughout your recovery journey. They should be readily available to provide support.

An accountability partner is just one component of the overall structure you establish for yourself. In many instances of relapse, whether in behavioral addiction or chemical dependency, individuals have been in a state of relapse for some time before engaging in compulsive behaviors. They have made decisions along the way that have paved the path to relapse, such as disregarding boundaries, frequenting risky environments, associating with individuals who enable addictive behaviors, and engaging in activities conducive to relapse.

To avoid succumbing to relapse in sexual addiction, individuals must steer clear of situations and behaviors that heighten vulnerability, including:

  • Failing to disclose one's whereabouts or activities to others.

  • Possessing the financial means or resources required to engage in addictive behaviors.

  • Dishonesty, coupled with a dismissive attitude toward accountability.

  • Rationalizing visits to high-risk environments (e.g., strip clubs, massage parlors, certain websites) or interactions with individuals enables addictive behaviors.

  • Resuming the use of pornography.

  • Clinging to objects or rituals associated with addiction.

  • Decreasing involvement in recovery-related activities.

  • Disruption of routine or structure.

  • Neglecting to replace compulsive behaviors with healthy coping skills.

Recognizing that relapse entails reverting to old thinking, feeling, and behaving patterns is essential. If you notice signs of relapse, it may be necessary to intervene promptly. Reverting to the activities instrumental in your recovery and intensifying your commitment to them can help steer you back on track. Remember, relapse is a foreseeable challenge, but with vigilance and dedication, you can avert it altogether.

Note: This article has been edited from its original version for clarity, accuracy, or other reasons.

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